Letting it all out: Breaking the silence around men’s mental health — Nurfilzah Emily Mohamad Khairuddin

JUNE 7 — Many men carry storms in their hearts that no one sees, just because the world often expects them to be silent warriors: strong, unshaken, and always composed.

They walk through life bearing the weight of pain, pressure, expectations and grief all while being told to “stay strong” and “man up.”

But this June, during Men’s Mental Health Month we’re breaking the silence. Because behind that silence, there is often a boy who was once told not to cry. A man who’s tired of pretending. A heart that aches for someone to say, “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel.”

Let’s begin here, it’s okay to cry. Tears are not a sign of weakness. They’re a release, a cleansing. They say, “This matters. I am hurting. I am human.”

If only the world could hear the stories behind those tears such as the father trying to provide without losing himself, the young man struggling to find his worth, the husband silently grieving a miscarriage and the student battling anxiety behind good grades.

These are not dramatic stories. They are real ones and they deserve to be spoken, heard and held with kindness.

But men are often taught that silence equals strength. That showing emotions makes them “less of a man.”

That vulnerability is dangerous. So they bottle things up, mask their emotions, distract themselves with work, sports or scrolling but deep down they are running on empty and what happens when emotions don’t have a voice?

They find other ways to scream through anger, numbness, insomnia, health issues or sudden withdrawal. This isn’t weakness. It’s a sign he needs help. He needs a safe space.

Here’s the truth, asking for help is an act of bravery. There is no shame in seeing a counselor, reaching out to a friend or admitting that life feels overwhelming.

In fact, the moment you say “I’m struggling”, you take back your power. You allow healing to begin. You remind yourself that you’re not alone and that pain doesn’t have to be your permanent home.

Professional help whether it’s therapy, support groups or a warm conversation can be life-changing. No one should have to suffer in silence when healing is possible.

And dear men, your emotions are valid. You don’t have to “get over it” quickly. You don’t need to be okay just because others expect you to be.

You’re allowed to feel frustrated, confused, lost, broken, joyful, emotional, grateful all in the same breath.

Your mental health matters just as much as your physical health. You matter. Not for how strong you appear but for who you are, deep down, when no one’s watching.

Find your safe people. Whether it’s a friend who listens without fixing, a partner who understands your silence or a counsellor who creates space for your truth. Lean into that support.

Healing happens in connection. You don’t need to go through life feeling like you’re a burden. You are not “too much.” You are enough and there’s space in this world for you to breathe, to rest and to be seen.

Even the strongest trees bend with the wind, it doesn’t make them weaker. It makes them real.

This Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s break the silence. Let’s check on our brothers, our fathers, our husbands and our friends. Let’s normalise the words “I’m not okay”, and let’s meet them with love not shame.

Let’s build a culture where men don’t have to wear emotional armour all the time where they can feel, fall and rise again with support by their side.

To every man reading this, know this with all your heart, you are not alone. You are not broken. You are not weak. You are a whole human being with a heart that deserves to be held gently.

Speak your truth, cry when you need to, ask for help and never apologise for feeling.

Because behind every silent man is not a void but a voice waiting to be heard. You don’t have to hold it all in. Let it out. You are worthy of healing. You are worthy of peace.

“Even the moon has scars, yet it still shines. So will you.”

* Nurfilzah Emily Mohamad Khairuddin K.B.; P.A. is a registered counsellor with Lembaga Kaunselor Malaysia.

** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.